Once upon a time, there was a young farmer by the name of John. John owned a tractor that had become almost like a friend and he also had a real friend, a girlfriend named Sue, who lived next door. Life was good for John until the day tragedy struck. That was the day John awoke to find that his beloved tractor had been vandalized; someone had reversed the "John Deere" logo on the engine cowling so that it now read "Dear John", and there was a letter on the seat from Sue. John opened the letter to read that Sue was running away with another farmer who had an even bigger tractor! It seems that size still matters, even on the farm.
John was devastated. He sold the tractor and bought a Kubota.
....and there was a letter on the seat.